The Mood Surfer

It’s been a while I have been tempting to start my on blog because I thought it will help me with my anxieties, mood swings and my depression. Yes I am depressed. When we hear the word “depression” an image of misery comes to our mind automatically. Some of us gives the advice of counting the blessings in our life. Most people fail to acknowledge the fact that “it’s not a choice”. It’s not like I don’t realize that I am blessed to be healthy (especially in the current scenario), to have a loving family, to have good food on my table and much more. Despite that I am depressed not because I am ungrateful but I actually don’t have any control over the sudden misery that hits me. I can’t seem to escape it. There are periods when I feel extremely irritated for no reason, gets extreme mood swings and at times I feel immensely happy, overly excited. I can’t really explain why it happens or how it happens.

One year back I came to know the term bipolar disorder. It grabbed my attention cause I somehow resonated with some of its symptoms. Finally I got answers to all my mood swings, the anxiety, irritation. Yes I am bipolar. People often say acceptance is the key. I don’t really know will it help me or not but I have taken my first step. I have been meaning to go to the therapy but because of the current corona situation it’s been delayed, till then to help with my anxieties and to express my suppressed emotions I decided to write a blog. I don’t really know how many of you will read this but if you do then at times my writing might seem a lil messy or meaningless, that’s maybe cause I have a problem of expressing myself properly. I am just an amateur writer dealing with her bipolar disorder. Welcome to my world.